Hello & welcome. This is a blog about our experience with infertility; the struggles, the facts, the emotions, and my personal experience through each step. I'm not usually an over-sharer of my personal business, especially when it comes to my broken body, but I wanted to share this experience for a few different reasons. 1. So that all of our friends and family can enlighten themselves on IVF, and stay in the loop 2. I need a sounding board, or else I'll probably drive my friends crazy and 3. Inspiration. Whether we get a positive pregnancy test at the end of this or not, others struggling with infertility need to know that they're not alone. I know that sounds cheesy as all get out, but it's the truth. There's comfort in knowing that you're not the only one with a broken body. That you're not the only one watching all of your friends have beautiful babies when you can't. Believe me I get it. So lets start things off with bringing you up to speed....
My first ectopic pregnancy (noun; the development of a fertilized ovum outside the uterus, as in a Fallopian tube.) happened in 2008. I was 23 & heartbroken, but at that time, I wasn't truly ready for a family. I was treated with Methotrexate (shot in the fanny), sent home to rest for a few days and that was that. My gynecologist told me that ectopics were more common than I realized, and that I could still more than likely have children "the natural way" but my chances of having another ectopic were about 30%. Not the end of world right? That's what I thought too. Fast forward to 2013, and here I am after a few years of not being on birth control OR using any sort of preventative measures to NOT get knocked up and I still wasn't pregnant. I wasn't trying to get pregnant by any means, but I knew deep down this wasn't a good thing. Then, out of the clear friggin blue, BAM...a big fat positive. Doug was outside in the front yard and I literally ran outside in my underwear to tell him, I was so excited. After the "holy shit" subsided and we could both wrap our brain around the fact that we were going to have a baby I started to worry. That "30%" was all I could focus on. I tried making an appointment with my OBGYN for an early sonogram since I was technically a high risk pregnancy (having had a previous ectopic), but I was unsuccessful. The [idiotic] nurse insisted I wait until I was 12 weeks along to be seen by the doctor. To make a long story short, a week went by and a few of those oh-so-familiar symptoms revealed themselves and I found myself in the emergency room with the rest of the crazy's on a Saturday night. Diagnosis: another stupid ectopic pregnancy. I could literally FEEL my heart breaking. I think I knew it the second I peed on that stick and got a positive result. Call it mothers intuition or whatever, but I had a bad feeling all along. The on-call OBGYN made some calls and we figured out that BOTH ectopic's occurred in my right fallopian tube. Here lies the problem right? That's the conclusion we came up with so I decided to have the entire tube removed that night in the ER. I was sad to say the least, but still hopeful in the fact that we were eliminating the issue. I expected to wake up from surgery with one good tube and a chance for a natural pregnancy. WRONG. My lovely doctor told me my left tube was 100% blocked as well, and that the chances of me getting pregnant naturally were "slim to none". Awesome. For the next 6 months I wallowed in the negative and had myself one hell of a pity party. I eventually snapped out of it and decided to move forward in a positive direction with what hope I had left. Fast forward 2 years and there we were meeting with a fertility specialist discussing IVF. As overwhelming as this appointment was, for the first time in a long time, I felt relief. We needed major construction but the road wasn't forever closed. After our consultation, we scheduled an HSG test. An HSG test shows whether the fallopian tubes are open or blocked. Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix. The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity. Unfortunately my left tube was still blocked. I think I was hoping for a miracle and that some how, in the last 2 years, my one little fallopian tube that was filled with scar tissue had miraculously opened up. No such luck. Moving on. So I had the dreadful surgery, yet again, leaving me with NO fallopian tubes and only one option left. That brings us to current events. On August 8th, 2015, we began our very first cycle of InVitro Fertilization. So....without further ado...let's get this party started.
My first ectopic pregnancy (noun; the development of a fertilized ovum outside the uterus, as in a Fallopian tube.) happened in 2008. I was 23 & heartbroken, but at that time, I wasn't truly ready for a family. I was treated with Methotrexate (shot in the fanny), sent home to rest for a few days and that was that. My gynecologist told me that ectopics were more common than I realized, and that I could still more than likely have children "the natural way" but my chances of having another ectopic were about 30%. Not the end of world right? That's what I thought too. Fast forward to 2013, and here I am after a few years of not being on birth control OR using any sort of preventative measures to NOT get knocked up and I still wasn't pregnant. I wasn't trying to get pregnant by any means, but I knew deep down this wasn't a good thing. Then, out of the clear friggin blue, BAM...a big fat positive. Doug was outside in the front yard and I literally ran outside in my underwear to tell him, I was so excited. After the "holy shit" subsided and we could both wrap our brain around the fact that we were going to have a baby I started to worry. That "30%" was all I could focus on. I tried making an appointment with my OBGYN for an early sonogram since I was technically a high risk pregnancy (having had a previous ectopic), but I was unsuccessful. The [idiotic] nurse insisted I wait until I was 12 weeks along to be seen by the doctor. To make a long story short, a week went by and a few of those oh-so-familiar symptoms revealed themselves and I found myself in the emergency room with the rest of the crazy's on a Saturday night. Diagnosis: another stupid ectopic pregnancy. I could literally FEEL my heart breaking. I think I knew it the second I peed on that stick and got a positive result. Call it mothers intuition or whatever, but I had a bad feeling all along. The on-call OBGYN made some calls and we figured out that BOTH ectopic's occurred in my right fallopian tube. Here lies the problem right? That's the conclusion we came up with so I decided to have the entire tube removed that night in the ER. I was sad to say the least, but still hopeful in the fact that we were eliminating the issue. I expected to wake up from surgery with one good tube and a chance for a natural pregnancy. WRONG. My lovely doctor told me my left tube was 100% blocked as well, and that the chances of me getting pregnant naturally were "slim to none". Awesome. For the next 6 months I wallowed in the negative and had myself one hell of a pity party. I eventually snapped out of it and decided to move forward in a positive direction with what hope I had left. Fast forward 2 years and there we were meeting with a fertility specialist discussing IVF. As overwhelming as this appointment was, for the first time in a long time, I felt relief. We needed major construction but the road wasn't forever closed. After our consultation, we scheduled an HSG test. An HSG test shows whether the fallopian tubes are open or blocked. Radiographic contrast (dye) is injected into the uterine cavity through the vagina and cervix. The uterine cavity fills with dye and if the fallopian tubes are open dye fills the tubes and spills into the abdominal cavity. Unfortunately my left tube was still blocked. I think I was hoping for a miracle and that some how, in the last 2 years, my one little fallopian tube that was filled with scar tissue had miraculously opened up. No such luck. Moving on. So I had the dreadful surgery, yet again, leaving me with NO fallopian tubes and only one option left. That brings us to current events. On August 8th, 2015, we began our very first cycle of InVitro Fertilization. So....without further ado...let's get this party started.